Life Training

Train up a child in the way he should go, even when he is old he will not depart from it.

Proverbs 22:6 NAS95

Jeff, (not his real name) was angry. He punched his sister because “she deserved it.”

Hilary Clinton wrote a book, published in 1996, entitled “It takes a village.” I remember the uproar it caused in the conservative church world. The theme of the book, at least as perceived from its title, aroused immediate opposition within the United States. A well-known instance of this occurred during the 1996 presidential election when, during his acceptance speech at the Republican National Convention, Republican nominee Bob Dole said: "... with all due respect, I am here to tell you, it does not take a village to raise a child. It takes a family to raise a child.”

Was she promoting the indoctrination of children in all kinds of stuff? I don’t know, I never got around to reading the book. But as I prepared this musing I did read the table of contents, and I have to be honest, the chapter titles are pretty compelling.

The village and families of the past two decades, in many ways and instances, have done a horrible job of raising children. When we look at the news, kids are too often involved in shooting other kids whether at school or on the streets of our cities. Crime and violence on college campuses is rampant. Nearly every day there is a new political scandal. You can’t turn on the news without some horror being played out on the screen.

Here is the thing that is disturbing me today. We are training our children in the ways they will go, whether we want to believe it or not. You can argue that it takes a family, not a village to raise a child properly, but I will argue the influences of the world around you are influencing the development of your child.

You and I will never stop all the negative influence, but we can teach our children and grandchildren how to spot the negative and to rise above the negatives. In my last musing I wrote about the improper treatment of women in our world. Since that musing was released a woman was sentenced to 34 years in prison and another 34 years of restricted travel for a total sentence of 68 years, for the horrendous crime of supporting women’s rights in Saudi Arabia. When my grandson “Jeff” hit his sister, this papa had a few words for him, and I took his phone away since it was the source of the tension.

Whether you accept it or not, the fact is the “village” that surrounds us dictates too often how we raise up our children. To you who are raising children I say it is imperative you learn and teach Biblical principles to your children.

When asked about raising children I often respond with my three favorite phrases:

1. Carpe Diem. Translated it means “Seize the Day.” When is the best time to teach and discipline, encourage and challenge children? Right Now!

2. Carpe Futura. Seize the future. Everything we do with and for our children shapes their future. Give your children the best future you can possibly afford including music lessons, sport activities, chess club and other intellectual pursuits, drama club, etc., etc., etc. If your child is interested help them learn everything they can about whatever it is. If it is computer games, make them learn how the games are created, they might just design the next hugely successful game, if it is TV, help them learn how television is produced. Get them a tour at the local TV station. The next generation of reporters, producers, and camera operators have to come from somewhere.

3. Carpe Kidum. I know kidum is not a real word, but I hope you get this concept, Seize the Kid. No matter how old, how angry, how naughty, your child(ren) need your hugs. Just like we yearn for the intimate times with our Heavenly Father, our children yearn for an intimate time with us as parents. Of all the time I had with my daughters, the times I remember the most are when I yelled Carpe Kidum and grabbed one or both of them and gave them big hugs. I also remember the times when they were upset with a situation (or me), and I grabbed them, and held on until the anger fled. They may have thought they were angry with me, usually they were angry they didn’t get their own way. When they knew how much I loved them, we could have rational conversations and thought, not anger and hate.

I realize todays musing is different from the rest, but we have a broken society, and it is because we have raised a generation that is doing exactly what they have been “trained” to do. We need to make some changes if we hope to train the next generation in the way they should go. Whether done by family or village, we must do better.